I remember the day last summer we got these photos:
What I felt was anything but love. I was terrified. I did not love these two kids. In fact, I didn't even really think they were that cute and I really didn't know if I wanted to adopt them (we had just lost our referral of the two boys and I was feeling pretty gun-shy). The fact is that from the time I saw this photo to today, my life has been turned upside down by a the Miracle of Adoption.
When I look at my daughter, I feel the most insane, overwhelming love. Something like I have never felt before. When I talk to my son and we laugh together I feel the most insane, overwhelming love. Something like I have never felt before. It's just...incredible.
I used to worry that adoption would feel like you were just babysitting someone else's kids- for a really long time. The truth is, the first day I did feel like someone's kids had been left on my doorstep (if my doorstep was in Africa), but I never felt like they weren't mine. The first few weeks we were home were HARD. I mean like buckets of tears hard and there were days when I contemplated (and regretted) the finality, the forever-ness of our decision to adopt, but something in me knew it was just the pain of change that I was feeling and I knew the "change" would soon be known as life (don't get me wrong, I am not underestimating the pain of change- lots of my life's pain has been the pain of change). And I am not saying this isn't hard. It's damn hard and there are days when we still cry buckets of tears, but the miracle of love in adoption is...overwhelming. I mean how is it possible that two people from the other side of the world belong with us? Two little Africans are now Baldwin's and before time it was meant to be so. What a miracle!
We have good times and bad times like any family does, but the miracle is, we truly are family. Adoption is an amazing gift and I am so, so, so glad that God has chose us to receive this incredible gift of love, family, and togetherness.
No comments:
Post a Comment