Survivor Guilt

There is news today that the US Embassy in Kinshasa, DRC is implementing a mandatory new 3-6 month wait process before a visa is issued for an adopted child. The 3-6 months would be after the child & family are approved to be matched, meaning essentially, this is your child, but you have to wait 3-6 months to see if the embassy will issue a visa. The news is devastating for families who are so close to the final step. It means that anyone who does not have an embassy appointment set, but maybe was planning on setting one next week, will be waiting an additional 3-6 months i.e. a lifetime for an adoptive parent.

On the one hand, I feel intense relief that we are home and I don't have to be concerned about this. I feel so glad that I am not among the families grieving right now. I feel so glad that I pushed and pushed to get my kids home and now they are home.

On the other hand, I feel so broken for families who are getting this news. I can't bring myself to post any kind of comforting words because I'm home and I have my babies close. They are not in an orphanage, still unknown to me. I see their faces, I wipe their tears, I get to hold them close, feed them, take them to the doctor and teach them new things. The emotion I feel is guilt. I feel bad that I am home and many, many people are negatively impacted by this news. I feel horrible for the fears this news will create (is Congo going to close to adoptions?) and maybe the realization of those fears as investigations reveal the levels of corruption.  I feel bad for Mama's who don't get to hold their babies tonight. For Papa's who go to work and come home to an empty house and the prospect of that for maybe another year as they are delayed in this process. I feel so sad for those who have lost today and I feel guilty for  the fact that what I am worrying about today is how to get my daughter to sleep in her own bed and not how long it will take to get my daughter.

If you think of it, will you please pray for those who are devastated today? Pray for the families who think they are going to give up and pray for families who, in their hearts, do give up. Pray for the kids who need medical attention and will spend an additional 3-6 months in an orphanage, just getting sicker. And will please you join us in praising God, who saw fit to bring our children home before this devastating news because even though I feel for my friends who have lost, I can't not celebrate what God has done for us.