Explain yourself, woman!

I think that most mom wish they could carry a sign explaining themselves. This morning I was chatting with a friend about how we have become 'that mom'. You know, the mom you see in public who is a little meaner than you think she should be to her kids or the mom who let's her kids do things in public you think they shouldn't do. That mom....

As an example, I believe kids in public should behave. However, sometimes in a clothing store, I'll let my kids mess around under the racks or roll around on the floor for a few minutes. Why? Because they are kids and there is nothing more fun than messing around with clothing racks and rolling around on the floor and there is nothing less fun that shopping with your mom. Now, crap starts falling off racks or my kids are in someone's way- different story. Now my kids are tied to my leg with the belt I might buy and they aren't saying a word until I officially release them with the lowering of my scepter. In the situation of them just quietly messing around not bothering anybody, I wish I could just wear a little sign that says, "I, too used to judge people who let their kids play in stores and now I see that I am one of those people. First of all, I'm sorry to all the people I judged, second of all, my kids are well behaved 99.9% of the time and I have had to decide that am OK with my kids having a little bit of fun. I will tie them to my leg with a belt if they get out of hand."
The thing is, I just don't want people to think I suck as a mom. Even though, sometimes - I do- I don't want everyone out there knowing it.

Here are a few signs I think moms would wear (note- these are not my signs):
-I'm tired. So, so tired. Honestly, I can't decide if this battle over french fries is worth it, so please just let me sit this one out and don't judge me.
-These yellow sweat pants really are the best I could do today. I swear, I wanted to do more. (Ok, this one is actually my sign)
-My kid can't handle all the stimulation in this (restaurant/store/library), so this outing, while much needed, will put our family on the couch for three days. Please allow us this craziness.
-I have (insert number) of boys and while you may hate us because they are wrestling inside this Taco Bell, I am not sure there is much I can do about it.
-I have 5 kids. Did you hear me? Five. kids.
-I am scared to discipline my kids because my mother/father went overboard with discipline
-If you think this is bad, you should see my house- it's a train wreck
-We give our kids everything because we feel guilty
-I have no idea how to say, "no"
-We couldn't find a babysitter or all these kids would be home
-Being a mom is hard! I wish I could go back to my job as a lawyer/trash collector/secretary/alligator wrestler because it was way easier
-I wish I didn't have to work an could just stay home with my kids, but we're already broke

----and on and on and on....

I guess my point is- as a mom, I don't really like feeling like I have to explain myself and so I'd really like to do a better job imagining what signs people are wearing; maybe that would humanize them to the point that I wouldn't cast my judgement on them. It is just so easy for me to look moms out there and decide they are doing a shitty job with their kids, when in actuality, I really don't know anything. I don't know anything about their story, anything about their reasons for their behavior or anything about what that day looked like for them.  I'm reminded of how I used to get so annoyed with moms who were impatient with their kids in public. I would think, "why did you have all these kids if you were just going to be mad at them all the time??" Until I had kids...until I had kids....now I'm all "hurry up, damn it!"

On another note, I also wish I could wear a sign saying, "Out of the corner of my eye, I see you looking at me trying to figure out if these are my kids or if my husband is black or if I am with Big Sisters of America. I am purposely avoiding your gaze. I will not answer your unasked- but obvious questions. Thank you for your interest!"